i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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