Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
