dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
