Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
