Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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