cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
