I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
