who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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