What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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