Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
