I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
