I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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