Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize