i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize