"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
