That's when you crack a 10am beer
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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