So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
