just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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