Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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