So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize