how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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