i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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