I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
