I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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