Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
