I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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