did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Randomize
