Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
