I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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