the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
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