then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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