she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
