i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
