I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
