She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize