This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
