She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
