matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
