Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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