It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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