My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
