PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
