i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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