You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize