We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You made out with two different species that night
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
