No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
