Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
