I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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