I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
