So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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