Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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