i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
