So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
