You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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