Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
