My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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