when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
