You're a womanizer and a bitch.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
