Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
