dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
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