Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
