found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize