seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm at about main and main street
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize