You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
