Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
