Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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