i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
