Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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