I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize